Tuesday, December 29, 2009

You've got to see this picture


It's the picture of the little boy and little girl. When you finish laughing, and I'll tell you about a car accident or 2.

I've been in enough accidents in cabs that I don't recall them all, I'm sure. 21 years is a long time. They teach you things about people and driving, so perhaps if I tell you, you can learn without an insurance claim. First off, convince yourself that there are people out there who will get in an accident intentionally. The last one I was in, the pavement was slippery, traffic was heavy, and this woman in this ratty Volvo station wagon passed me in the right lane zipped in front of me and with turn signal on slammed on the brakes. She claimed she needed to go to the bank. Bull! When the cops were done she didn't go into the bank AND she had a court track record for suing people like insurance companies. She wouldn't dream of doing that to another car like hers.

Black ice will do the job real nicely too, you need to watch for it. What is black ice? After a big snow fall like we had a few weeks ago, there are big snow piles all over the place. On a nice warm winter day with sunshine and upper 30's, some of that will melt, and that pool of water will be smooth, invisible ice within an hour of sunset. I was sitting at a stop sign at the corner of Index and Stewart, and bam. Guy lived close by, no ice there when he went home for lunch, and he in general drove too fast and aggressively. Moral of story, YOU Babba, you must watch for it because he won't, and don't stop where he can hit you. 3 accidents/tickets in 3 years and you're gone these days.

Bottom of hill in any kind of storm but especially in snow. I was waiting for a passenger to come out of this apartment building on Park st., and I saw this car start coming down the hill in my lane. Why isn't he changing lanes to go around me I wondered. NOW I mentally watch for 2 seconds and start accelerating away, go around the block, and come back. I watched in my rear view mirror as he kept coming down the hill. He couldn't be wanting to plow right into me, could he? Complete moron, an engineering graduate student from Taiwan, he'd never driven on a slippery surface before, locked up the brakes at the top of the hill, and slid all the way down the hill and plowed into me. The black lady in the back seat said, "I think I hurt my elbow. No it's my shoulder........." I cut her off right there and said, "Merry Christmas ma'am, Merry Christmas."

I've had more than one person hit me head on while they were looking over their shoulder. I thought this one ass hole in Middleton, on Parmenter st., was going to drag me out the window and start pounding on me. He hit me in the northbound lane while traveling southbound, and he's mad at me? Boy was I glad to see the cops show up. That cab was totaled too.

And an accident that wanted to happen but didn't last week was this complete idiot who stopped on the beltline. In a perfict world it would be acceptable to chase the guy down and strangle him. It's slippery, real slippery in spots, and he's coming at a tight circle ramp way to fast so I decide to let him zoom by, but I want off there too, so I put on my turn signal. So he slows down right on my rear bumper. I slow down, he slows down, we got to walking speed and I'm looking at a car coming on fast, as in 50 mph in my lane so I floor it and pull over on the left side of the ramp. Well, now Mr. Polite goes past me. What's his plan? Oh, he's just being a safe driver, and being polite, and he'll kill somebody doing it someday.

I had a couple of black kids in the cab and a metro and I was waiting for to make a left turn at First and Wash (washington), and you know how people will floor it to run the very last of the yellow light? Well, I started to make my left turn, looked at a fool coming the other way doing just that and decided to let him come and I'd wait for one more light. Unfortunately the guy in the car behind me had to tap me just then. Awwwww, SHIT!!!! With a metro in, I've got to get the cops, no choice. Now with this 3 in 3 years business, I'd chance going on and letting everybody forget it. The 2 black kids in the back seat were acting real nervous for about 10 minutes, then all of a sudden that changed. The one kid started shouting, "My arm hurts! When do I get paid?!" What changed was they decided to hide the dope they were transporting under the seat, and walk away from $50, and go for the big pay out, and when they figgured out how to get it off their person, that's what they did. The cops did shake them down too. If it ever happens again, you can be sure the cops will shake down the back seat too. I remember the cop too, her name was Gail Holmes. She was amazed that I was so calm and composed. The previous time we met, I'd been attacked, was bleeding, and wanted her to arrest the guy who blindsided me, on a moving job I was running.

The final accident I'll mention was one of those rescue the passengers deals. When a cab dies for what ever reason, the driver is supposed to tell the dispatcher, who will put it on the board as a call. It was back when I first started driving, a Sunday if memory serves. There was a new guy out there, like it was his first or second weekend, a part time guy. He was zooming around downtown way too fast, and he'd beaten me for a couple of calls by doing 60 on West Washington, which is around 30 over. The lady who'd been in his cab when he wreaked it said he'd been brake torquing at a light, and when the light changed he let it rip. Unfortunately for everyone else involved, someone was making a late left turn on a yellow light and had not cleared the intersection yet. She said he plowed into that car with the accelerator on the floor.


Seth M. Ward said...

You can get the follow widget by clicking on mine and there should be something on there that tells you you can get it. Like get this widget or something like that. If not just goto google.com and type in follow widget for google blogger and it should take you to it. Another suggestion would be to give a more detailed bio on your profile. Let us know about who you are and what drives you:D

About the accidents.......knock on dash, I haven't had one yet....well not really true but.....I had a bicyclist come zooming by me when I was stopped at a light waiting to turn right. Turn signal on and head cranked left watching to clear on coming traffic, he wanted to pass me on the right. Fortunately, my passanger in the front seat was watching him and yelled for me to stop. I may have been going 5 mph and clipped him. God only knows why but he came off the bike, laid it down in the street and somehow managed to stay up right. He picked up the bike and walked over to my window and I asked if he was alright. He said yeah and actually apologized. Thought I know there are those out there that want to try to make money off the system, there still are honest peoploe out there.

Be safe and keep that head on a swivel!

Real cab driver said...

I have a bike story in here someplace, that kid totaled his bike and was pissed as hell, but totally in the wrong.

You can't have driven a cab for too long if you haven't had an accident. Nobody is that good. There are simply too many morons out on the road.

An accident I didn't include in the post was an old lady who side swiped me. I was loading a couple of 'developementally challenged' (retarded) passengers at Hilldale and this old bitch was honking her horn behind me. Then she pulled around and sideswiped me.

So she rolls down the window, and in absolute rage says, "See what you made me do?"

I told her that I had a right to load retarded people and if she wanted a cop I would gladly get her one. Lucky for her I was in a good mood. If I would have insisted on a cop, which was my perrogative, she would have gotten pulled in by DOT for a skills test and lost her license surely, due to her age.