Sunday, April 27, 2014

A New Years Eve story.

Really it's not a New Years Eve story, the police report surely said January 1 on it.  It was around 3:00 am., and it is THE biggest money making shift of the year.  I took a ride out to Orchard Ridge, and I'm coming back to Verona rd. on Raymond rd.  We have 6" of fresh snow on the ground, it fell in about 2 hours time, so most places, no tire tracks.  This car is coming up my side of the boulevard the wrong way.

Normally when I face somebody going the wrong way on a one way street, I force them over to the left curb.  They normally get the idea, wave, do a U-turn, and get on another piece of pavement that is the right way.  Not this car, she climbed the curb, showed no sign of even slowing down, and ticked the bottom of my outside window as she went past.  She's dead drunk.

Most drivers would zoom downtown and make some more money.  The responsible citizen thing to do is to get her off the road before she kills herself or somebody else.  I do a fast U-turn and follow her until she turns, then I force her into a cul-de-sac and she stops.  My cab is blocking her path.  I go over to her window, and as I already knew, she was dead drunk.

"Lady you're too drunk to continue driving.  Your car is legally parked.  Give me your keys,  I will give you a free ride the rest of the way home, see you to your door, and remind you to lock the door when you enter.  You can come back tomorrow and get your car, I'll write down the location on a business card for you."

"I can't do that."

"Lady you're either going home in my cab, or going to jail in a police car.  Either way, this car is not moving from this spot tonight.  Come on, let me give you a free ride home.  Give me your keys."

"I can't do that."

"Lady this is the last offer.  You get a free ride home in my cab, or you go to jail.  Now give me your keys."

"I can't do that."

"OK, you're going to jail."  Dispatch called the cops, and told me I was an idiot for punching an hour hole in the most profitable night of the year.  That's OK, it's the responsible thing to do.  The cops actually got there pretty quick.  I told them what happened.  The cop scraped a little of the white paint she left on the bottom of my mirror into an evidence bag, and they took her to jail pretty quick.  No field sobriety test or anything like that.  She was totally blotto.

She got so many tickets.  Wrong way on a one way street.  Drunk Driving.  Leaving the scene of an accident, causing an accident because she's drunk, and who knows what else.  And I would have given her a free ride home. 

Drunk and stupid doesn't stop in college.

Thursday, March 13, 2014


When Roy Boy's son became a driver, the dispatchers pestered him for what nickname he wanted.  They were probably thinking along the lines of Roy's Boy.  After about a week, he came up with Tiberius.

Turns out, Brian T. aspired to be an actor.  And it turns out that Tiberius was probably played by Shakespeare himself, in a play called, Sejanus His Fall, first performed in 1603 and ran through part of 1604.

Everybody thought Roy Boy was a cruel enough man to give his son a middle name as off the wall as Tiberius, and let it go at that, and that's what we all called him.

Then, a couple of days ago I ran into Roy at the supermarket, and asked him how Brian was doing.  He said that Brian was a leading actor locally, and had performed with every theater company in town, doing lead roles.  Tiberius indeed.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

NEVER let a friend or relative move into an age restricted, elderly apartment building. NEVER!

Let me count the ways.......  Retirement, YUCK!!  It's enough to make you go back to work!

A friend who lives in another building like this one that's about a mile away told me this story, and as he chuckled, he kept saying, "I can't make this stuff up."

There are these 2 old lady's in his building (everybody's old, of course) who live across the hall from each other, and hate each others guts.  So, at roughly 3:00 am., the old lady in one of those apartments goes out in the hall and takes a dump in front of the other old lady's door, so she'll step in the pile when she exits her apartment.  To make sure it happens, and maintenance doesn't clean it up and prevent it from happening, she then pulls the fire alarm.  Did she get kicked out of there, the story is she did.  What fun, eh?

What's really sad is that if she'd started a grease fire on her stove before she pulled the fire alarm, she wouldn't have gotten arrested, and it would have been tough to prove who crapped on the hall way floor.

Is it like that where I live?  According to my friend, worse stuff happens here, but I kind of think that's going to be hard to top.

On the bright side, I just may have a job lined up, doing some traveling construction work, and I'd really, really love to do that.  The only reason I got a degree from the University of Wisconsin was because they let me in.  What I wanted to do when I was 21 was be a welder, and I still love welding, burns and all.  If the construction thing happens, I'll leave here and move back into something that is more like reality.