Friday, December 12, 2008

El Dougaie's favorite R.C. story

A long time ago, perhaps 20 years ago, I was in the drivers room at the old old office doing my envelope, and El Dougaie asked me for the key. Oh, yeah, sure, but hey wait a minute, I got to get something out of the trunk. I always forget stuff in the trunk, to this day I do.

So we go out in the lot, start the engine, press the button that pops the trunk, and I reach in and pull out a dead grey squirrel. "Dinner", I said.

The Brick was standing a few feet away with his mouth hanging open. El Dougaie said, "Aw look, it's even got a nut in it's mouth."

I looked at the dead squirrel a little closer and said, "No, that's not a nut. That is a piece of a snickers bar."

I handed El Dougaie the key and tossed dinner on the seat of my pickup. Then The Brick came over and started telling me that I couldn't eat that squirrel, it could have who knows what diseases and parasites and cooties in general. I looked at him like he was teatched, there wasn't anything wrong with the squirrel, which I intended broiling, except it would be a little messy to dress out, it was even fall, right time of year. That squirrel wasn't even stiff when I picked it up, it was very fresh. So I told him he was out of his mind, and went back into the drivers room to finish my envelope.

This incident had tremendous impact on both of them. The Brick never let it go because I could die from doing stuff like this, and he had a PhD in some biology discipline so he knew all about those microbial cooties. El Dougaie always chuckles when he tells the story, and he still tells it. "No", he'll say, "that's not a nut, that's a piece of a snickers bar." heh heh heh

Which reminds me, when I get this cast off, I think I'm going to get the game warden to tag me a deer that has died of highway disease. Going deer hunting is way too much work, and a venison rib roast sounds pretty tasty. Free for the taking here, all you have to do is call the sheriff's office, get a list to look at, drive around and find one that isn't too tore up. Then you get it tagged, take it home and cut it up and wrap it. Bingo, full freezer and the dog loves it as much as I do.

1 comment:

Lugosi said...

Dude, you have left me speechless.... Mainly because I'm too busy vomiting.