Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The questions passengers ask.

Over the weekend, a lady asked me if I've had everything happen to me, I went down a list of extremes, and she said she figgured I've had everything happen to me. I thought of a small list of things that I haven't had happen since then, but they're all thank god kind of things.

A common question is, "Do cab drivers carry guns?" I wouldn't, but a few have.

Another is, "Will you spin the cab on the fresh snow?" When I first started, one of my night drivers used to brag of doing that, and break torquing to 'light up the tires'. His nickname was Mario, and passengers did like him. Beating on the cab has always been a good way to get fired, as has been driving like a moron on fresh snow. I also do not run red lights or exceed the speed limit because I'm asked to do so.

"What's the funniest thing that's ever happened in your cab?" I have a rather verbose story that I have always told, but I'm now leaning on this short version. Well, one day I had a retarded dwarf crap her pants in my cab. Short, simple, always gets a laugh. And of course, the old myth is, you're not a real cab driver until somebody craps their pants in your cab. So on that day, as I cleaned the seat in an absolute smoking rage, I was finally a real cab driver.

"What's the most people you've ever had in the cab?" Ah, no comment, if you're ever in Madison and you're riding in my cab, I'll tell you. In recent years the company has gotten real serious about only letting as many people ride as there are seat belts for, which in a Crown Vic is 4.

"How/why did I become a cab driver?" I forgot to leave town when I graduated, a serious mistake.


King of New York Hacks said...

RCD , a retatded dwarf crapping their pants is something I've never heard of...goes in my mental bank of top 5 cab horror stories. You crack me up. 13 in your cab?!?! Has to be the record !! That beats me by 7, too many cops watching me for that . The verification thing is just something I think I chose when I set up the blog, Its annoying but someone told me to keep it like that to keep hackers from hacking my site. Also, for you to keep posting during your hard times I respect genuinely and please accept my condolences for your tragic times. You are inspiring to me and all who read you. Thanks.

In_spired said...

Madison, Wisconsin! If I'm ever in Madison and have to call a cab, I hope it's you that is driving!!

(You're also a good writer!!)

buffalodick said...

Little people crapping in your back seat? There'd be a Dwarf Tossing Contest they wouldn't soon forget...