Sunday, November 16, 2008

The kid from Ann Arbor, and the psycho

Near the start of Fridays shift, I had a couple of Michigan students in the cab. I was telling them the verbose version of the retarded dwarf story when we rolled into East Towne and loaded a black woman who works for the mall. I continuted the story a little, and of course the black woman hadn't heard the prelude, I was describing the stench, and she got real animated in her commentary, things like I ought to toss someone out who even farts in the cab. It was hysterical, the 3 of us laughed and laughed until she got to where she was going and got out.

I decided that I was going to try and make as many people laugh as I could. Most of the passengers anyhow. Fast Eddie once cautioned me about making people laugh too much, he once got somebody laughing so hard she crapped her pants. Just before they got out, the guy said, perhaps he should write a book out of my material here. I kind of wondered about that, and I'd thought of it before that. I asked him what his major was, English he said.

Around 10 pm., I had a well dressed young woman going to the Memorial Union, she said she was going to a dance for senior med and law students. Really? I asked if she was going to chase ambulences or staff them. Chase. Really? Tell me, how would it work if someone else wrote a book out of my material? She said it's my intelectual property. Cool beans!

Unfortunately, every squirrill in the midwest was running around down town over the weekend too. What do squirrills do? The mild stuff is, a couple of guys will come up to a cab while you're loading 4 girls, and try to sit on the girls laps who are in the window seats. Or some grinning jack ass will come up to the cab while I'm loading people on State street and order order me to get out of the cab, so he can get in and drive it, then he hangs his chin on the window and won't move.

The prize jack ass of Saturday night was the guy who was calling me a nazi because I wouldn't let the whole party of 8 pile into the cab. The second time I heard nazi, I pulled over and told them to get out, we'd only gone about a block. The woman in the front seat tried to talk me out of it. One thing I've learned by hard experience over the years is, once you tell someone to get out, they get out. NO second chances. When she finally got out, the guy with the mouth came over and tried to shatter the window by slamming the door as hard as was physically possible. I started to get out of the cab, and he went even further psycho describing in great detail how he was going to break me into little pieces. There are times when it's seriously tempting to carry a cattle prod. Imagine having that guy sitting behind you for 10 minutes. Shortly after that, a passenger told me that all the cops and ambulence in the middle of that block were for someone who had been randomly attacked as he exited a bar. Some psycho total stranger had wound up and hit the guy in the face and run off. I wonder if it was the same guy.

No comments: