Let me count the ways....... Retirement, YUCK!! It's enough to make you go back to work!
A friend who lives in another building like this one that's about a mile away told me this story, and as he chuckled, he kept saying, "I can't make this stuff up."
There are these 2 old lady's in his building (everybody's old, of course) who live across the hall from each other, and hate each others guts. So, at roughly 3:00 am., the old lady in one of those apartments goes out in the hall and takes a dump in front of the other old lady's door, so she'll step in the pile when she exits her apartment. To make sure it happens, and maintenance doesn't clean it up and prevent it from happening, she then pulls the fire alarm. Did she get kicked out of there, the story is she did. What fun, eh?
What's really sad is that if she'd started a grease fire on her stove before she pulled the fire alarm, she wouldn't have gotten arrested, and it would have been tough to prove who crapped on the hall way floor.
Is it like that where I live? According to my friend, worse stuff happens here, but I kind of think that's going to be hard to top.
On the bright side, I just may have a job lined up, doing some traveling construction work, and I'd really, really love to do that. The only reason I got a degree from the University of Wisconsin was because they let me in. What I wanted to do when I was 21 was be a welder, and I still love welding, burns and all. If the construction thing happens, I'll leave here and move back into something that is more like reality.