The Glitter Twins

The Glitter Twins were these 2 very elderly sisters, who lived in a house on the corner of Mineral Point and a side street, on the near west side. Every Sunday morning, they would get dressed up, and take a cab to the Inn on The Park. They were very nice ladies.

I distinctly recall the navy blue 3 piece suit, one of them wore. It was covered with spills, probably years of spills, coffee, food, and just normal daily wear dirt. It was a very nice, very elegant, wool suit, but it was soiled beyond imagination. It didn't smell good either, but that's ok, if and when I'm in my 90's, I hope the fashion police will look the other way and turn a blind nose.

I liked these 2 ladies. We all liked these 2 ladies. Passengers don't get nicknames like, The Glitter Twins, unless we like them.

I thought about those Sunday dress up outfits for quite a while, 6 months perhaps. What I really wanted to do was to say to them, 'Ladies, could I come by on Monday and take your suits to the cleaners? I'll take them to the cleaners. I'll pick them up and return them to you when the cleaner is finished with them. I'll even pay the fee to make them look like new. May I, please?' I knew I couldn't do this because, if they complained that some cab driver had implied that they were unkempt, dirty, and they stunk, Roy Boy would be really upset. Rightfully so too. You don't go around telling regular passengers, who are favorites, that they're not wonderful to have in the cab. And, it wasn't that they weren't wonderful. It was that if I could see that they were wearing dirty clothes, the rest of the world could see it too, and I knew that if they cared enough to get dressed up, they wanted to be seen as looking nice.

Like all cab companies, we do parcel delivery. One day, I got a parcel going to a place called the coalition for the aging, or some such thing. It looked harmless enough. A do gooder outfit for the elderly. When I went in, I got my package signed for, and I mentioned these 2 ladies, and their dirty clothes to this guy who was getting the parcel. I asked him, if there was any anonymous way I could offer to take their clothes to the cleaner. I was a fool. He said, he could arrange for it, where did they live? So, I told him.

I never saw the Glitter Twins again. Not long after that, there was a for sale sign in the front yard of the house, across from the big Catholic church. I pulled into the driveway, and looked, sure enough, the house was empty. Soon the house was sold, and a new family moved in. No rationalization will ever make it ok, this was the worst thing I ever did as a cab driver. The old folks police got the Glitter Twins, and it was my fault.

Any time I get an elderly person who stinks, or a habitual drunk who stinks, or anybody with similar issues, I think of the Glitter Twins. It makes it easier to smile and offer to help them get from the cab to the door.