The questions passengers ask.

Over the weekend, a lady asked me if I've had everything happen to me, I went down a list of extremes, and she said she figgured I've had everything happen to me. I thought of a small list of things that I haven't had happen since then, but they're all thank god kind of things.

A common question is, "Do cab drivers carry guns?" I wouldn't, but a few have.

Another is, "Will you spin the cab on the fresh snow?" When I first started, one of my night drivers used to brag of doing that, and break torquing to 'light up the tires'. His nickname was Mario, and passengers did like him. Beating on the cab has always been a good way to get fired, as has been driving like a moron on fresh snow. I also do not run red lights or exceed the speed limit because I'm asked to do so.

"What's the funniest thing that's ever happened in your cab?" I have a rather verbose story that I have always told, but I'm now leaning on this short version. Well, one day I had a retarded dwarf crap her pants in my cab. Short, simple, always gets a laugh. And of course, the old myth is, you're not a real cab driver until somebody craps their pants in your cab. So on that day, as I cleaned the seat in an absolute smoking rage, I was finally a real cab driver.

"What's the most people you've ever had in the cab?" Ah, no comment, if you're ever in Madison and you're riding in my cab, I'll tell you. In recent years the company has gotten real serious about only letting as many people ride as there are seat belts for, which in a Crown Vic is 4.

"How/why did I become a cab driver?" I forgot to leave town when I graduated, a serious mistake.