The Glitter Twins were these 2 very elderly sisters, who lived in a house on the corner of Mineral Point and a side street, on the near west side. Every Sunday morning, they would get dressed up, and take a cab to the Inn on The Park. They were very nice ladies.
I distinctly recall the navy blue 3 piece suit, one of them wore. It was covered with spills, probably years of spills, coffee, food, and just normal daily wear dirt. It was a very nice, very elegant, wool suit, but it was soiled beyond imagination. It didn't smell good either, but that's ok, if and when I'm in my 90's, I hope the fashion police will look the other way and turn a blind nose.
I liked these 2 ladies. We all liked these 2 ladies. Passengers don't get nicknames like, The Glitter Twins, unless we like them.
I thought about those Sunday dress up outfits for quite a while, 6 months perhaps. What I really wanted to do was to say to them, 'Ladies, could I come by on Monday and take your suits to the cleaners? I'll take them to the cleaners. I'll pick them up and return them to you when the cleaner is finished with them. I'll even pay the fee to make them look like new. May I, please?' I knew I couldn't do this because, if they complained that some cab driver had implied that they were unkempt, dirty, and they stunk, Roy Boy would be really upset. Rightfully so too. You don't go around telling regular passengers, who are favorites, that they're not wonderful to have in the cab. And, it wasn't that they weren't wonderful. It was that if I could see that they were wearing dirty clothes, the rest of the world could see it too, and I knew that if they cared enough to get dressed up, they wanted to be seen as looking nice.
Like all cab companies, we do parcel delivery. One day, I got a parcel going to a place called the coalition for the aging, or some such thing. It looked harmless enough. A do gooder outfit for the elderly. When I went in, I got my package signed for, and I mentioned these 2 ladies, and their dirty clothes to this guy who was getting the parcel. I asked him, if there was any anonymous way I could offer to take their clothes to the cleaner. I was a fool. He said, he could arrange for it, where did they live? So, I told him.
I never saw the Glitter Twins again. Not long after that, there was a for sale sign in the front yard of the house, across from the big Catholic church. I pulled into the driveway, and looked, sure enough, the house was empty. Soon the house was sold, and a new family moved in. No rationalization will ever make it ok, this was the worst thing I ever did as a cab driver. The old folks police got the Glitter Twins, and it was my fault.
Any time I get an elderly person who stinks, or a habitual drunk who stinks, or anybody with similar issues, I think of the Glitter Twins. It makes it easier to smile and offer to help them get from the cab to the door.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Special days, like the Big 10 home opener
Any cab driver will tell you, days are not created equal. Some are simply better than others. New Years Eve, or New Years Day for day drivers, is one of those great days to work. Here in Madison, Big 10 game days and nights, as well as days like Halloween are also big days.
When I started driving, they served beer in Camp Randall. You could smell stale beer 2 blocks away on a game day. The Badgers had mediocre to poor football teams, and the emphasis was on fun. Activities like body passing were common, and the student section was a lot of fun. The band was great too. Everybody had a great time except the coach and players. It must have been kind of rough, usually getting run over by every visiting team in front of the home crowd.
The best place to sit in a cab, waiting for passengers, was in the little parking lot, right outside of the ticket office. It wasn't quite possible to see the game from there, but you could certainly hear the crowd cheer or moan, and I never cared who won anyway. Football is for having fun. Football is for making money. Is somebody supposed to win? Are you supposed to care? If you're having fun and making money, what more do you want?
The Badgers are getting whupped by the California Golden Bears that Saturday. I don't recall the score, but it wasn't even close. People started leaving around half time. This is great for a cab driver. The last stragglers will go to the game at the end of half time, so if people start leaving just as the last people arrive, you stay busy all afternoon. The only thing you have to watch out for is the massive traffic jam that happens when the game finishes. If you're good, and I am, you can even slip through that, usually.
These 2 drunk guys came out and got in the cab. The game is close to finished, but the traffic jam hasn't started yet. They're showing me the fake binoculars, which is really a flask that holds close to a liter. Hee hee hee, ho ho ho, wooo hoo, boy are we drunk!!!! Wah hah!! These guys are around 35 to 40, and in real life, they're probably solid citizens in some small town up north, but it's Badger football in party city, and they're both hammered. They say their car is somewhere out by the cemeteries, so what they need is a pretty short ride out Regent st.
We hadn't cleared the parking lot, when the older of the 2 asked the most classic of all passenger questions, "What's the most off the wall thing anybody's ever done in your cab?"
"Well, nobody's ever mooned out of my cab before", I said. I was thinking, that'll shut 'em up. Wrong! In those days we drove cars with mechanical windows, so if a passenger in the back seat wanted to crank down the window, there was no way to stop him. It took about 30 seconds for that older and more respectable of the 2, to have that window cranked down, and to have his bare butt hanging out of it. The other one, had the other window open, and was sheiking out the window, "Whoooooooooo, whooooooooooo, whooooooooooop", all the way down Regent street. That bozo was mooning all the fans, adults, kids, and little old ladies. Doing it right there in broad daylight. Henceforth, I would only ever be able to say, no woman ever mooned out of my cab, and to this day, no woman ever has. BUT!!! One time I did see 3 little muffies at the corner of State and Lake, mooning State street in general.
My football Saturday was complete, about 30 minutes later, when I got Mookie the Bear in my cab, with a couple of Cal cheerleaders. Mookie the Bear? The Cal mascot!!!! I've never had Bucky in my cab, but I did have Mookie the Bear once.
When I started driving, they served beer in Camp Randall. You could smell stale beer 2 blocks away on a game day. The Badgers had mediocre to poor football teams, and the emphasis was on fun. Activities like body passing were common, and the student section was a lot of fun. The band was great too. Everybody had a great time except the coach and players. It must have been kind of rough, usually getting run over by every visiting team in front of the home crowd.
The best place to sit in a cab, waiting for passengers, was in the little parking lot, right outside of the ticket office. It wasn't quite possible to see the game from there, but you could certainly hear the crowd cheer or moan, and I never cared who won anyway. Football is for having fun. Football is for making money. Is somebody supposed to win? Are you supposed to care? If you're having fun and making money, what more do you want?
The Badgers are getting whupped by the California Golden Bears that Saturday. I don't recall the score, but it wasn't even close. People started leaving around half time. This is great for a cab driver. The last stragglers will go to the game at the end of half time, so if people start leaving just as the last people arrive, you stay busy all afternoon. The only thing you have to watch out for is the massive traffic jam that happens when the game finishes. If you're good, and I am, you can even slip through that, usually.
These 2 drunk guys came out and got in the cab. The game is close to finished, but the traffic jam hasn't started yet. They're showing me the fake binoculars, which is really a flask that holds close to a liter. Hee hee hee, ho ho ho, wooo hoo, boy are we drunk!!!! Wah hah!! These guys are around 35 to 40, and in real life, they're probably solid citizens in some small town up north, but it's Badger football in party city, and they're both hammered. They say their car is somewhere out by the cemeteries, so what they need is a pretty short ride out Regent st.
We hadn't cleared the parking lot, when the older of the 2 asked the most classic of all passenger questions, "What's the most off the wall thing anybody's ever done in your cab?"
"Well, nobody's ever mooned out of my cab before", I said. I was thinking, that'll shut 'em up. Wrong! In those days we drove cars with mechanical windows, so if a passenger in the back seat wanted to crank down the window, there was no way to stop him. It took about 30 seconds for that older and more respectable of the 2, to have that window cranked down, and to have his bare butt hanging out of it. The other one, had the other window open, and was sheiking out the window, "Whoooooooooo, whooooooooooo, whooooooooooop", all the way down Regent street. That bozo was mooning all the fans, adults, kids, and little old ladies. Doing it right there in broad daylight. Henceforth, I would only ever be able to say, no woman ever mooned out of my cab, and to this day, no woman ever has. BUT!!! One time I did see 3 little muffies at the corner of State and Lake, mooning State street in general.
My football Saturday was complete, about 30 minutes later, when I got Mookie the Bear in my cab, with a couple of Cal cheerleaders. Mookie the Bear? The Cal mascot!!!! I've never had Bucky in my cab, but I did have Mookie the Bear once.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I like this Australian drivers blog
We work the same hours, 3:00 pm - 3:00 am, but other wise we are opposites, when it's night here it's day there, when it's summer here, it's winter there. He sounds like a decent sort of guy, just a cab driver, trying to earn a living. Nothing exciting, but all cab driving.
http://canberracabbie.livejournal.com
http://canberracabbie.livejournal.com
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